I'm just trying to figure myself out..... Like most teenagers out there.
people get so caught up on one small thing they don’t like, like their nose or something
things like salt and baking powder go into a cake and those things are gross alone but the cake is pretty damn delicious
this is the best fucking thing I’ve ever read
Favorite reactions to Jay’s wedding Part 3
Part 1 here | Part 2 here | Part 4 here
(more posts like this here)
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury’s. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Sainsbury’s…
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of Maltesers.
6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
Emergency Medics were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ’ Mission Impossible’ theme.
11. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
13. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’
14. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’
One of the Staff passed out.
OMFG I AM SCREAMING.
“Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.”
Is this woman’s husband Misha Collins?
OMG THIS IS GREAT
I adore this man utterly and completely.
An Hourglass Graphic of every human that has ever lived vs. humans that are alive on earth at this moment.
I HAVE WONDERED ABOUT THIS
let me just tell you ok
the person in front of me (who was freaking out omg) asked him for a hug
and i was like “meh, peter isn’t my fave” so i wasn’t that bad (ha jk) b/c i always got this creepy vibe from ian???
but then he hugged her and then i walked forward and he just
pulled me in
and he was soft
and he called me sweetie
and i love him
Licia Ronzulli, member of the European Parliament, has been taking her daughter Vittoria to the Parliament sessions for two years now.
Every time this is on my dash, it’s an automatic reblog.
Life. There’s always a way to make it work.
This woman runs PARLIAMENT with a baby in her lap and she’s CLEARLY doing an outstanding job because she’s still there being a total boss two years later, baby still in her lap.
"A baby will destroy your career-"
Are you sure?
Because I’m pretty sure that Licia Ronzulli would laugh at that declaration.
- eating chocolate does not trigger migraine headaches,
- eating DARK chocolate reduces the risk of heart disease and cancer.
- eating chocolate does not give someone acne or other skin eruptions,
- eating DARK chocolate boosts one’s appetite, but does not cause weight gain,
- eating moderate amounts of chocolate makes one live almost a year longer,
- eating MILK chocolate releases endorphins in the brain, which act as pain-relievers,
- the sugar in MILK chocolate may reduce stress, and have calming and pain relieving effect,
- eating ANY chocolate makes you feel better after a Dementor attack.
reblogging for the last fact
I’ve been worried about dementor attacks since literally forever.
Also, my brother stopped eating chocolate and got a little sick.
His doctor prescribed him chocolate.
He has a doctor’s note. To. Eat. Chocolate.